Why December Feels So Overwhelming for High-Achieving Women (+ What Helps)

December looks different “on paper” (or, on Instagram) than it feels in real life. On paper, it’s cozy sweaters, fresh cinnamon rolls baking, twinkle lights on a perfect tree, fireplaces crackling, and lots of free time with people you love. In real life? It’s “I have three weeks to wrap up work goals, finalize travel plans, text everyone back, get gifts, host things, attend things, and somehow keep everyone alive and stable.”

If you’re a high-achieving woman, December tends to stir up a specific kind of pressure - the kind that feels invisible, unspoken, and heavy.

And if you’re feeling more irritable, tired, anxious, or tapped out right now…it’s not because you “can’t handle it.” It’s because December asks a lot of women who are already carrying a lot.

Here are some reasons this month hits harder - and what you can do to navigate it with more ease (and less resentment).

1. December exposes the “mental load” you carry all year.

You already manage the schedules, the reminders, the details, the logistics - the things no one sees but everyone depends on.
December doesn’t lighten that load; it multiplies it.

Whether you celebrate holidays or not, the world around you is louder, faster, busier, more demanding. There is simply more to hold. If your brain feels like 47 tabs are open? That’s the mental load. And it spikes this month.

2. Your body remembers last year’s burnout.

Even if life is technically “fine,” the rhythm of December can trigger old patterns: rushing, overperforming, saying yes too quickly, trying to hold everything together. Your system remembers what it felt like to end the year exhausted. So the tension you feel right now isn’t random - it’s stored experience.

This is why slowing down feels both needed and impossible.

3. The expectation to be “on” is everywhere.

You’re supposed to be joyful, grateful, reflective, generous, available, social, festive, productive, and wrapped in emotional sparkly tinsel and garland like a holiday gift. But you’re human - not an ornament.

If December feels performative, you’re not imagining it. For high-responsibility women, this is often the hardest month to find authenticity.

4. You’re juggling endings and beginnings at the same time.

Year-end work deadlines. Family expectations. Travel. Planning for next year. Holiday or non-holiday obligations. Emotional stuff you didn’t choose but still have to hold. It’s a lot. It’s too much.

And your nervous system can’t tell the difference between: “I have ten deadlines…” and “I’m being chased by a lion!”

It just knows you’re under pressure.

How to make December feel a little less like a marathon:

Not perfectly calm. Not magically spacious. Just gentler.

1. Decide what’s actually yours to carry.

Not everything that comes your way is your responsibility - even if you can do it better than everyone else.

2. Create a “bare minimum December plan.”

Name the minimum you need to stay okay: sleep, boundaries, alone time, movement, less alcohol, fewer commitments - whatever your nervous system actually benefits from.

3. Let “good enough” be the vibe.

Your December does not need to be curated, optimized, or Instagram-worthy. You’re allowed to choose ease over excellence. I REPEAT: You’re allowed to choose ease over excellence.

4. Make room for your own feelings.

Not the feelings you think you should have, but the ones you actually do. You don’t have to be cheerful if you’re tired. You don’t have to be gracious if you’re stretched thin. Your real emotional experience counts.

If this month already feels like too much…you’re not behind.

High-achieving women often wait until January to regroup - but December is actually the moment your nervous system needs support the most. Whether it’s therapy, rest, boundaries, or simply acknowledging that you’re one human carrying a lot…it all matters.

You don’t have to push your way through another exhausting year-end.
You’re allowed to support yourself now, not later.

📍 Therapy for people across Oklahoma + Iowa
📩 Book a session or 15-min consult: eastwesttherapist@gmail.com | 818.392.4611
🧠 My niche? High-achieving women navigating anxiety, burnout, career stress, depression, life transitions, and BIPOC concerns.